Humorous stories from Amma – Part 8 ( 6 more stories)

There is no dearth of fun and frolic in the company of a Mahatma like Amma. Amma narrates several humorous and funny stories that carry spiritual wisdom. Here are  more such little stories:

(If you have not read the previous 15 stories in this series, please click here —> Part 7 (Humorous stories from Amma)

1. Who taught her?!

Once a newly married couple came to live in a housing complex. The wife woke up in the morning was looking through the glass window of her apartment at the lawn in the opposite apartment. Several washed clothes were hanging there for drying.  She said to her husband, “Oh! The washed clothes are still dirty. It looks like the woman there does not know how to wash clothes clean!”

The husband did not make any comment.

Then it became almost regular for the wife to make the same comment every morning. “I wish someone teaches her how to wash clothes properly” she would add. Her husband did not open his mouth.

A few weeks went by. One day the wife spoke to her husband with a voice full of surprise.  “Hey! It looks our neighbor has, at last, learned how to wash clothes clean! Today, all the dresses hanging there are clean and bright! I wonder who taught her the right way!’

The husband said in a cool voice: “This morning I got up early and washed all the glass panes of our windows clean!”

[Amma: “This is what is happening in our lives too. If we have to see goodness in others, our hearts must become pure first. Our ego, pride, envy, crookedness, hatred, etc. cause our vision to be tainted. Because of it, we are not able to accept and digest others’ actions and behavior and behave friendly with them.”]

(Source: Amritam Gamaya – Malayalam – Vol 1)

2. Escape from death?

Once there lived a sculptor who was very much afraid of death.  How to escape death? This question was always nagging his mind.  He used to think of so many ways and finally felt there was one good idea which he could try.

He made 12 statues looking exactly like him in all respects.  They were so lifelike. His idea was that when the messenger of death comes in search of him, he could pose like one among the statues and the messenger would get confused and perhaps leave empty-handed!

The time of his death indeed arrived. The sculptor saw the arrival of the messenger of death. He immediately joined the group of 12 statues and stood there holding his breath, avoiding all movements.  The messenger of death too got confused to see 13 statues looking exactly alike!

After thinking for a while, he said aloud, “All these statues are really well crafted and look alike. The sculptor is indeed extremely talented. But unfortunately he has made one fault in all of them”.

The ego of the sculptor got offended on hearing this. He forgot his precarious state and asked loudly, “What fault? what fault? How dare you find fault in my work? Tell me where is the fault”.

“Here it is!” so saying the messenger caught hold of the sculptor and dragged him along to the nether world!

[Amma: “When the ego rises saying “I am the doer”, then all woes come. The idea that ‘I am the doer’ is the one that causes bondage.”]

(Source: Amritam Gamaya – Malayalam – Vol 1)

3. Greedy Cheater?

There was a bakery in a village. The bakery owner used buy butter regularly from a farmer who owned cows. The farmer was a guileless, good person.

The baker was getting disturbed about a thing. He was suspecting that the farmer was not really giving the right weight of butter that he regularly ordered on a daily basis.  Is the farmer cheating him by giving less?

He started measuring the weight of the butter with the weighing stone that he possessed. It was amply clear that the butter was short in weight. He got convinced that he had been getting cheated;  he made a complaint to the village headman about it.

The village chief called the farmer for an inquiry. He explained the complaint and said to the farmer, “You go and bring your weighing stone immediately. We would like to check it for correctness”.

The farmer fumbled for a while and then said, “Sorry sir, I really don’t have any weighing stone, but I assure you  I am not a cheat”.

“How do you say so? How do you weigh and supply the butter without a weighing stone?”

The farmer said, “Sir, I regularly buy bread from the same bakery. I use that bread as the measuring weight to measure the weight of the butter I supply. So, I am not faulty; if the butter is underweight, then it means the bread I have been buying is underweight! ”

[Amma: “Don’t wait for others to reform themselves before we change. We should reform ourselves first.”]

(Source: Amritam Gamaya – Malayalam – Vol 1)

4. Lucky day?

Once a man got up early in the morning.   He felt very refreshed after a good night’s sleep and his mood was upbeat.   He had positive thoughts brimming inside him that morning.

As looked at the clock, he noticed that it was showing the time as 9. The clock had stopped working the previous night. The man came to the balcony. It was refreshingly chill. He checked the temperature and it showed 9 degrees Centigrade.

After brushing, he picked up the newspaper. It showed the date was 9.

“Curious!” he thought to himself.

After reading his newspaper, he went to the kitchen to fix his breakfast. Opening the breadbin, he found exactly nine slices left. After breakfast,  the local temple committee members came to meet him, to seek donation from him. Interestingly, there were exactly nine men in the group.

His mind started working at a furious pace. “Something is imminent! I am soon going to be very lucky in something!” He was so excited that he could neither sit nor stand. He picked up the newspaper again, and his eyes fell on the horse-racing page. “What a wonder!” he exclaimed. “The name of the 9th horse in the 9th race today is ‘Niner’. This is precisely the pointer. My success is guaranteed.”

The man didn’t hesitate. He rushed to the bank, withdrew all the savings he had there, and went to the racecourse with that money. He betted the entire amount on horse ‘Niner’. The race began. The man sat daydreaming, counting his winnings. At last, the results were announced. The horse “Niner,” the ninth horse, in the 9th race, had cleared the finishing line—in ninth place!

[ Amma: “The decisions of the Supreme come to us as hints from Nature. We should have proper awareness of dharma and justice to see them and understand them properly. Otherwise, our fate may be similar to that of the man in the story.”]

(From Amma’s New year satsang 2021)

5.  Outside or inside – Be careful!

This is a story related to the Lockdown period during the Corona Virus threat.

The husband was confined to the house; his wife was serving him food.

The husband said, “Is this how you used to cook in the past?  Earlier, your preparations would taste nice and contain nice flavor; my tongue used to water as the smell of your cooking comes through the air from the kitchen; nowadays, your cooking is tasteless and flavorless.  Why is it getting worse day by day?”

The wife did not utter a word. She continued to serve food. Day after day, this complaint from the husband became a routine.

Suddenly on one such day, an Ambulance came to his house.  A couple of policemen too arrived at the gate. They called the man out.  As the husband came out of the house,  few persons wearing full protective gear caught hold of him and dragged him into the Ambulance. Within no time they drove the Ambulance to a Corona Special ward in the local hospital.

“What happened? Why are you doing this to me?” shouted the husband.

The Ambulance staff said, “We received a phone call from your wife saying that she suspects symptoms of Corona infection in you as you complained to her that you have no sense of smell or taste of late. That’s why we have brought you here for treatment.”

[ Amma: “Nowadays such things happen in a husband and wife relationship! If people confine themselves to their houses fearing external threats, they end up facing internal threats like this!”]

6.  The artistic tailor!

A man went to a leading tailor who was very famous for creating new trends in the market. He gave the cloth piece to the tailor; the tailor took all the measurements and informed the man to come after a week for collecting the shirt.

A week passed and the man went to the tailor. The shirt was ready. After wearing the shirt, the man found that the left arm was longer and the right arm was much shorter. When the man complained about it, the tailor responded saying “This is the new fashion. You are unfortunately unaware of the new trends, my dear man. All you have to do is lift up your right shoulder and match the length; that’s all ”.  The man agreed and wore the shirt.

Then he found one strange thing! There was a huge ball of cloth on the back of the shirt below the neck. He thought that the tailor by mistake has stitched it along with the shirt. He again enquired tailor about it. The tailor replied impatiently, “ I already told you that I am a creative artist and this is my new creation. It’s a masterpiece. You just have to bend a little and walk, my dear!”

The man was elated. He thought that it was indeed his fortune that he was able to wear such a fine dress created by an artist. He put on the shirt and walked in style with a hunched back and a raised hand. He looked around to see if anyone was noticing him and his new style. Yes, in fact, a passer-by did notice it immediately and remarked “I know who has stitched this shirt for you. Only an expert like him could have done such a perfect work!”

The man was even more happy when he heard the compliments. Wow, he did not know that the tailor was so famous. He asked, “Sir, how do you know that this was done by that expert?”

The passerby said,  “It is so obvious,  we have only one tailor in this town who is a specialist in stitching clothes for physically handicapped people!”

[ Amma: “In this story, the man got carried away by the fame and the claims of the artistically inclined tailor, and gave more importance to the outfit than his own body.  Because of it, he became a loser. In the same way, we give too much importance to the whims of our mind and forget our real Self. That’s how our downfall happens. We tend to obey what the mind says.  Mind is like an expert salesman. Salesmen tend to lure us with their loud sales pitches, and we buckle. The mind will say, “yes, yes, let’s buy”. This is the nature of the mind. That’s how we become slaves to our minds.  The mind should be turned inward. The guru is one who shows us the substratum of the mind, which is Atman.”]

(From Amma’s Gurupurnima Satsang dt 23/7/2021)

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