Amma’s Amma — Damayanti Amma and her role in the life of Mata Amritanandamayi

Damayanti Amma.

The blessed biological mother of the Divine Mother Mata Amritanangamayi Devi gave up her mortal body and merged in Amma on 19th September 2022, at the ripe old age of 97.

In the holy life history of Amma, the role played by Damayanti Amma is quite significant indeed, particularly during the formative years of Amma. Damayanti Amma was a very strict mother and a bundle of values. Amma in fact used to mention that her mother was a guru for her who taught by example, as well as through her strict regimen. Amma frequently used to share many of her childhood anecdotes to explain them.

Damayanti Amma was very particular to instill several values to her like loving and worshiping nature as God, protecting and preserving nature, the importance of hard work, loving and serving others, giving first priority to others’ needs, intolerance towards wasting anything, frugal living,  worshiping everything as a form of God, lovingly feeding guests and strangers, concern and care for others in the society etc.

Damayanti Amma’s native place is Bandarathuruth which is about  6 km away from Parayakadavu (the native place of Amma’s father Sugunanandan). 20 year old Damayanti got married to 21 year old Sugunanandan and arrived at Idamannel house to raise her family.

Damayanti Amma was very devoted to God right from her childhood. She used to follow strict austerities including abstaining from taking food a couple of days in a week. Interestingly, there were incidents where, on such ‘upavas’ days, tender coconuts would fall on their own by evening from the coconut tree, and Damayanti Amma would finish her ‘vrata’ by drinking the coconut water.

Since she was quite adept in following strict austerities, she was fondly called ‘Pattathi Amma’ (Brahmin lady) by the neighbors.

The first (girl) child born to the Damayanti-Sugunanandan couple was Kasturi. They had a boy next, named Subhakan. The third child unfortunately died on delivery. 

In the forth delivery, Damayanti Amma was blessed to give birth to the avatar of the Universal Divine mother, Amma, who was given the name of Mata Amritanandamayi Devi by her devotees. The name given to the girl child by the parents was Sudhamani.

When Damayanti Amma was bearing Amma in her womb, she had indeed received several ‘hints’ about the arrival of an extraordinary person through her. Lord Shiva, Devi and Krishna appeared In her dreams  She also had a dream where someone comes and gives a golden image of young Krishna.  Sugunanandan too had dreams in which Devi appeared.  Though the naïve couple shared their experiences with each other, they were not really equipped to understand the significance of the dreams, until very much later in life.

A few days before the delivery, Damayanti Amma had yet another dream in which she experienced giving birth to Lord Krishna and the little Krishna drinking her breast milk.

Sugunanandan owned a small hut closer to the seashore in addition to his house Idnamannel. As per the local norms, Damayanti Amma normally went to her mother’s house for the delivery, some days before the expected due date. But, this time, during the final month of pregnancy, Damayanti Amma very unexpectedly felt the symptoms of an imminent delivery. She had no one with her to assist in delivery, and it happened rather quickly at the hut.

The new-born child did not cry. Damayanti Amma got worried whether this delivery too ended in a stillbirth. As she worriedly looked at the new born baby, the baby looked at her and smiled! It was indeed a pleasant and very unusual surprise for Damayanti Amma. By that time, a neighboring woman came rushing, to extend help to Damayanti Amma. 

Thus Damayanti Amma gave birth to the Universal divine mother on 27th September 1953, Sunday, at 9 AM in the star Karthika.

But it was indeed a serious concern that the newborn baby did not cry for a while. Added to the woes, the baby was bluish black in color. Its fingers showed some symbol (known as chin-mudra) and legs were found folded in Padmasana. Fortunately, the baby started crying after a while and it brought some relief to the mother and the family. Soon the baby was named Sudhamani. 

Only after the passage of one year, Sudhamani’s skin color changed from bluish black to dark. Sudhamani did not crawl at the normal time of seven months, but sooner, she got up and walked and without much delay, she started to run too. However, she started to talk from 6 month onwards. From the age of two, she started chanting and singing Lord Krishna’s name; at the age of four, she started to compose and sing a couple of lines bearing Lord Krishna’s names. Sudhamani was short in size and she was fondly called ‘kunju’ by one and all.

This dark-skinned little girl was very obviously different from any other child in the locality; but, unfortunately, for the fair-skinned Damayanti Amma and her two elder children, Sudhamani unusually dark skin remained a matter of overt and covert dislike, and it did show in their treatment towards the child.  Of course they were  ordinary village folks who had their own biases, and it was natural.

Sudhamani went to local primary school and studied up to fourth standard. Damayanti Amma had a series of childbirths.  After Sudhamani, she gave birth to Sugunamma, Sajini, Sureshkumar, Satheeshkumar and Sudhirkumar. Damayanti Amma also had some three stillbirths in between these children.

The series of child births and deliveries did have their impact on Damayanti Amma’s health. She became very weak both physically and mentally. The family was quite big and the household chores were physically taxing and never ending.  She had to take care of the cattle too. Poor lady, with a frail body and deteriorating health, how would she manage? The family machine had to squeak and run somehow, and she opted to pull in the dark and puny Sudhamani into doing household work very rigorously, right from a very young age,  giving minimum priority to her education.

However, little Sudhamani was very intelligent, had a sharp intellect and wonderful memory capacity. Despite heavy household work, she managed to do her studies very well. As we know, she had a deep love on Lord Krishna right from very young age; amid her household work and study at schools, she did find time to chant Lord Krishna’s name and sing his glories with tearfilled eyes. Many times, her focus would turn inwards; losing external consciousness, she would sit still in samadhi like a statue. 

Unfortunately, none in the locality knew what spirituality was, what it meant to be in deep devotion to God  and what was meditation. Naturally, Damayanti Amma could not understand her dark little daughter’s quirky behavior; at the best, she could only conclude that Sudhamani had some mental problems; it would be prudent and economical to put an end to her education and utilize her full time in doing domestic chores. In fact, it suited Sudhamani’s school-going siblings very well, as they could unburden all their share of work on the head of the dark skinned and cranky Sudhamani! Thus Damayanti Amma stopped Sudhamani from going to school midway during her 5th standard.

Sudhamani had to get up early in the morning at 3 AM to start her domestic chores. If she was found sleeping late, Damayanti Amma would pour a pot of water over her. Sudhamani had to sweep the house and surroundings, bring firewood, cut vegetables, start cooking, wash utensils, wash clothes, cut and bring grass from nearby backwaters, bring drinking water from the common village tap, feed the cows, clean the cowshed and so on. Her chores would continue never-ending till 11 PM. 

It was during this period that Damayanti Amma played the role of an extremely tough and demanding guru to teach many things related to doing the domestic work in the most appropriate way. She taught dos and don’ts of right behavior and practices. Amma used to recall many such teachings of Damayanti Amma, in later years during her interaction with her devotees.

Stress on hard work

If, at any point of time, Sudhamani displayed any lack of interest or sluggishness in doing work, Damayanti Amma would say, “If you feel lazy to do work,  God will stop giving any work to you. Unless one works, one would not get food to eat. If you don’t get work, then you will die of hunger. Hence, we should always pray, ‘God, please give me work always’. All people indeed pray that way”.

Guilelessly, Sudhamani believed what her mother told and she would indeed pray, “O Krishna, please always give me your work”. Perhaps it is out of this prayer that Amma, till date, is getting loads and loads of work and is serving the society without any rest! In a way, aren’t we, the beneficiaries of Amma’s tireless work, indebted to Damayanti Amma?

Awareness and attention about even little things

Damayanti Amma had keen awareness about so many things. If Amma spilled a few grains while cleaning the rice, Dhamayantiamma would say “Are you capable of creating one rice grain yourself? Then how can you carelessly waste it?”. Even a match stick should not be wasted unnecessarily. If Amma had to light up fire, she had to go approach a neighbor and if they had got fire at their kitchen or at their wick lamp, fire should be obtained from there.

Damayanti Amma demanded perfection even in mundane work like sweeping the front yard. The sweeping must be impeccable, not leaving a dry leaf here or a pebble of stone there. The swept marks of the broomstick should create a visibly pleasing pattern on the ground.

Brooms were normally made at home by bundling the light and thin sticks of coconut leaves.  While brooming, it was natural that some of these thin sticks would get loosened and fall to the ground. If Damayanti Amma noticed any sticks fallen like this, she would  beat Amma, saying, “If you lose one stick a day like this, then in one or two months, it would amount to losing a whole broom. That is utter carelessness”

While grinding ‘masala’ in the grinding stone, Amma would loudly chit chat. That was not acceptable. “When you chit chat, there is a chance that your spittle may drop on the preparation and it is very unhygienic”. So sying,  Dhamayantiamma would give a beating or two, if Sudhamani does not keep her mouth shut.

Seeing God in everything

For Damayanti Amma,  a piece of paper is an aspect of the Goddess of Learning, Saraswathi. If someone puts a foot over it, it amounts to showing disrespect to Goddess Saraswathi. Dhamayanti Amma would insist on picking the paper, touching it on the head and showing respect to it.

God’s aspect indwells in every object, and whenever you use something you should have a worshipful attitude towards it — this is what Damayanti Amma taught Sudhamani. Even today, we can see Amma touching her chair and then touching her forehead as a mark of respect before sitting in it; Amma would touch the microphone when ending her bhajans as a mark of respect to it. Such habits got ingrained in Amma’s psyche, thanks to Damayanti Amma’s strictures.

Damaynti Amma would say, “Rivers are like Devi. One should not urinate in them”. Though there were no rivers in Amma’s locality, the backwaters were literally the rivers for Amma. When Amma got into the backwater for bathing, the sudden chillness would invariably trigger an urge to urinate. But, she would remember Damayanti Amma’s words, and instantly, as if putting a switch off, Amma would control the urge to urinate. Amma  used to mention this umpteen times during her satsangs.

Serving guests – ‘Atiti devo bhava’

Dhamayantiamma truly treated guests as Gods. She would unhesitatingly sacrifice her food to feed a guest. It is her practice to set aside a portion of food, to feed guests who may drop in unannounced. After cooking, she would not immediately serve food to her children. She would wait to see if any guests would come and only later she would feed her children. There were also occasions when cooked Kanji would turn out to be insufficient for the family after feeding the guests. On such occasions, Damayanti Amma would mix scraped coconut with remnant rice water (Kanji Vellam) and give it to Sudhamani, who was yet to eat.

If guests come home with a shortage of clothes, she would give away her new clothes to the guest. In the limited space inside their house, guests would always get priority to lie inside the house, and Dhamayantiamma and other family members would opt to sleep in the courtyard. 

A beggar coming hungry knocking at her doors would never be turned away.

During Sabarimala seasons, pilgrims from adjacent places who go by foot to Sabarimala would pass by. Damayanti Amma would make sure to serve them Kanji and curry. 

Caring for others needs 

Being a fishermens’ hamlet, most men of the locality earned their living by fishing in the sea. Many families lived a hand-to-mouth existence, based on day to day earnings to run the family. At times, it would get very late for the men to return from the sea after their daily catch. They had to sell the fish, get cash, buy groceries for the day’s food and come home. Cooking would commence only after that. 

There  were families with ten to twelve members in a house including children and old people in the neighborhood. They would be waiting hungrily right through the day, till the head of the family arrived. On days like this, Damayanti Amma would cook some extra food, good enough to eat for four to five children. She would send the food through Sudhamani to the neighbors house saying, “Poor people; they have been fasting right through the day. Let them not not go without food.”

The sense of togetherness with neighbors that Dhamayantiamma displayed too was so striking. As we have seen earlier, Damayanti Amma used to send Sudhamani to bring fire from the neighbor’s house, to avoid wasting a match stick. She would instruct Amma that if the house she visited was untidy, she should sweep that house; if utensils were there uncleaned, she should clean them before coming back home with the fire.

Preserving Nature – Never take anything in excess from nature

Once a pilgrim to Sabarimala had arrived, and Damayanti Amma served him Kanji. It was the practice in the village to use a folded leaf of a Jackfruit tree as a spoon for consuming the kanji. Damayanti Amma asked Sudhamani to fetch a jackfruit leaf for the purpose. When Amma went near the jackfruit tree, she saw a small branch of the tree had broken and fallen on the ground. It had some sixty leaves in it. Sudhamani picked up the branch and brought it to Damayanti Amma.

On seeing it, Damatyanti Amma started beating Sudhamani immediately. After a while she said, “I told you to bring just one leaf. Who asked you to break a branch and waste so many leaves? What right do you have to do such an injustice to the tree?”

Only when Amma explained that the branch had already broken, Dhamayanti Amma stopped beating her.

Quoting this incident, Amma said in later years, “From this experience, I learned three things. First, we should allow all plants and trees to live their full life as ordained by God, two, as the leaves purify the air we breathe, they are extremely important to us and three, taking anything more than our essential need from nature is adharma”.

Motherly instincts

Having given birth to eight children and rearing them up, Damayanti Amma had motherly instincts ingrained in her psyche. To explain this, Amma used to quote the following incident. 

Once, Damayanthi Amma and Sudhamani were engaged in some chores near the sea shore. Suddenly Damayanti Amma’s blouse became wet due to oozing of milk from her breasts. Damayanti Amma said to Sudhamani, “I think the baby sleeping in the hammock inside the house has woken up and is crying; go and bring the baby immediately”. Amma rushed to the house and indeed she found her baby sibling writhing and crying in the hammock. 

Right from the age of ten, till her reaching twenty, Amma was fully engaged in the ceaseless domestic works for ten years. On one side, she had abundant energy to do all of them like child’s play and on the other side, she lost her sleep at night, as that was the time she could be back in communion with her beloved Lord Krishna. She would call out Krishna, sing bhajans, cry out for getting his darshan profusely shedding tears and dance in ecstasy.

Discipling the ‘thief’

In the daytime, Sudhamayi used to go to other houses in the village to collect discarded vegetable skins to feed their cow.  She saw firsthand how people were suffering from hunger and poverty. She saw old people suffering from sickness and discard from other family members. Amma’s heart would melt seeing their plight. She would steal money, food, groceries, and, at rare times, even golden ornaments from her house and give to the suffering people in the surroundings.

While Damayanti Amma too had a soft heart for the suffering people and extended help to them, it was always within the means and limitations of her large family. On the other hand, Amma’s acts were sheer largesse, totally unmindful of the family’s financial status. From the point of view of the highly principled Damayanti Amma, stealing money and goods from the family (irrespective of the motive) amounted to having criminal tendencies; It amounted to utter lack of good conduct and character, which deserved severe punishment.  Hence, whenever Sudhamani’s largesses got exposed, she received severe beatings from Damayanti Amma.

Damayanti Amma would also complain to Sugunanandan about the adamant daughter’s excesses and Sudhamani would get further punishment from her father too. 

Once, when Amma was six years old, Damayanti Amma was complaining to her husband about Sudhamani’s misbehavior. Little Sudhamani lost patience and shouted at her mother, “Are you my mother or mother-in-law?” No wonder the parents were shocked to hear Sudhamani’s outburst.

Damayanti Amma’s predicament

People reading Amma’s life history may tend to form a mental picture of Damayanti Amma as a heartless and spiteful woman. But the reality must be understood without bias, considering the time period and the location of these incidents. 

Parayakadavu village and the surroundings were hamlets of fishermen and their community had its own social norms of behavior and cultural moorings. It was quite a male dominated society, and the girls were subject to severe strictures and restrictions, primarily aimed to ensure their safety and good name. 

Girls were meant to be married off as early as possible and they should have modesty, sound character, be soft spoken, be feminine,  be excellent in domestic chores and so on. 

Girls should not talk aloud nor laugh noisily. They should show respect to all menfolk irrespective of whether they were older or younger. A young girl should not sit in front of even her younger brother, if he was standing. Girls should not speak to strangers. Whether on work or study, girls should return home before dusk. Sweeping the floor in front of men was considered an act of disrespect. When a woman sweeps the floor and a man happens to come by, she should stop sweeping and hide the broomstick behind her back!

 Dhamayanti Amma was very particular that her daughters should never get any bad name. Otherwise, parents would get the blame for not rearing their girls with proper cultural mooring.

The Tomboyish ‘Little Kali’

But Amma was made of sterner stuff! She was tomboyish in many ways. The ‘little Kali’ many times tended to be rebellious to her mother’s strictures. If Dhamayanti Amma says “You should not do it”, Amma will say “I will”. If Dhamayanti Amma shouted at her, Amma would shout back  louder than her! If Dhamayanti Amma came to beat her, Amma would grip her hands and  try to thwart her from hitting her! All these would naturally bring Dhamyanthiamma to boiling point and instead of getting one beating, Amma would end up getting 10 beatings!

Amma also displayed the tendencies of ‘little Krishna’. When hungry, Amma would gulp down curd and milk, and to avoid getting noticed, she would generously add water.

Amma used to say in later years, “If Amma had received so much of beatings those days, it was more due to Amma’s adamant behavior at young age.” 

In her young age, brimming with energy, Amma would not differentiate a work which was normally considered to be in the domain of men.

Guests would keep on coming to Dhamayantiamma’s home at all odd hours and whoever came had to be served with tea. That was the strict rule of hospitality of Dhamayanti Amma. Firewood  would be constantly needed. If nothing was immediately available, Sudhamani would not hesitate to climb a coconut tree nearby to pull out a dry branch hanging there! If Damayanti Amma noticed it, she would boil with rage. “Come down and I will treat you the right way”, so saying, she would be ready, with a stick in hand. 

“If you are going to beat me, I will stay here permanently, and will not get down!” — Amma would shout back.

Exasperated, Damayanti Amma would quip, “If your behavior is going to be like this, I will marry you off only to a tree-climber!’ 

There was also an occasion, when, perhaps Damayanti Amma would have wondered whether a boatman was the right match for her incurably adamant daughter! This incident happened when Amma was fourteen years old.

One day, Amma was returning from Vallikkavu and came to the backwaters to take a rowing boat (‘kadathu vallam’) to reach home. (There was no bridge those days and boats were the only mode of transport). Boatmen had retired for lunch time.Some elderly women and children were waiting for the boatman for a long time. One woman was lamenting that her children were hungry at home; she had just bought the provisions and she could cook only after returning home. If the wait were to be longer, the children would have to suffer in hunger. She was feeling restless.

Amma could not tolerate the woman’s mental anguish. She decided to row the boat herself, even though she had no experience in rowing the large Kadathu Vallam;. The bamboo stick was too heavy and too tall for her small stature! It was indeed a tough man’s job! But undaunted, Amma started pushing the boat using the stick, keeping the women seated in it. Soon the boat was swaying this way and that way dangerously, but still started progressing towards the opposite shore!

Seeing what young Sudhamani was doing, people started gathering at both the shores wondering as to what would happen. Will she end up capsizing the boat and sinking all into the backwaters? Or will she manage to reach the opposite shore? Dhamayanthiamma too rushed to the banks of the backwaters hearing the commotion going around!

Sudhamani somehow successfully managed to cross the backwaters and reach the bank! There was excitement all around, but Dhamayantiamma was totally nonplussed! Oh, what a shame this Sudhamani had brought to the family! Doing things that only males were supposed to do! If she was so rough and tough, who would ever come forward to marry her?! Moreover, if she had ended up in capsizing the boat midway, what a calamity would have befallen! Needless to mention that Amma got her choicest beatings from her mother that day!

But Amma was least bothered about the beatings she received that day; she was quite happy to have helped the women to reach home and feed her hungry children.

The joy of one-day freedom

During many of the Onam festivals in the ashram, Amma invariably would bare her childhood memories associated with Onam. 

“Onam is one festival that I enjoyed thoroughly during my childhood. Girl children, who were normally subjected to so many restrictions, would get a one-day freedom on Onam. In addition, we got a new dress only during Onam and there will be plenty of payasam (sweet pudding) to drink. I would freak out into the streets shouting and laughing at the top of my voice. I would run around madly around the village, play day long with friends, sway in the swings for hours together, and return home only at dusk, dead tired! “

That was one day when I was totally free from the clutches and strictures of Damayanti Amma.

However, it did not mean that Amma would meekly submit herself to Damayanti Amma’s commands and demands on other days. She would argue word for word and whip up her mother’s anger more and more.  

Any other normal girl, out of inability to tolerate the pain of beatings, would have cried out and sought pardon for her mischiefs and promised not to repeat her mistakes. But the little Kali would many times remain like a statue, without reacting to the bodily suffering received from the beating.  This again had the potential to infuriarate Damayanti Amma further. 

Task of managing the tempest

Poor Damayanti Amma! What could she do? She or her husband could never comprehend the unusually stubborn demeanor of their dark skinned daughter. They had to get their married one after the other. Who would come forward to offer their sons for marriage to their family? That was the prime concern that eroded the heart of Damayanti Amma like acid. The only way she knew was to discipline her adamant daughter through severe punishments.

Perhaps, had Amma’s lilas been constrained to the family only, she could have at least attempted to hush them up. Unfortunately, they were enacted at relatives’ houses too.

In those days, it was very difficult to get house maids on pay to do the domestic chores, since job opportunities for girls with better salary were available in coir making, fishnet repairing etc. 

Hence, girls who had discontinued schooling and got trained in doing domestic work were much sought after. Damayanti Amma was getting pressure from her parents and other blood relatives to relieve Sudhamani for a few hours daily and send her to their houses for doing their hosehold chores. Damayanti Amma, had to oblige to their requests. 

Sudhamani was sent to her grand-mother’s house at Pandarathurth. Every day, she had to walk 6 km for this purpose and Sudhamani utilized it for chanting her beloved Krishna’s name and immersing herself in the joy of it.   

During her stints at her grandma’s house, and subsequently, at the age of 14 at her Mother’s elder sister’s house and later, at the age of 15 at her uncle’s house  at Karunagapally, Sudhamani continued with her old ways. She took  pity on the poor people around. She started helping them by supplying rice and other provisions stealthily from her hosts’ houses. She got caught and received punishments there too. Thus,  after earning bad name from those relatives’ houses too, Sudhamani returned home permanently at the age of sixteen.

At that time, Damayanti Amma’s health deteriorated further and Sudhamani had to take the full brunt of all the household work at her head. Along with it, her mad devotion to lord Krishna too grew proportionately. Her obstinance and fights with Damayanti Amma too grew and consequently the punishments as well. Amma added fuel fire to her parents’ irritation through her habit of calling other elders in the surroundings as ‘father’ and ‘mother’ while calling her own parents as step-mother and step-father!

Damayanthi Amma’s repeated efforts to get Sudhamani married off ended up as failures again and again.

Time passed by. Amma’s first Krishna bhava darshan happened and it started continuing. Her reputation as a woman ‘possessed by Lord Krishna’ spread in the neighborhood villages and people started coming to have her darshan and seek solutions to their problems in life. 

Subsequently, Amma received a glimpse of Devi Parashakti’s captivating form and she was then caught in a mad whirlwind of deep longing to have her Devi’s darshan again. Amma came out of her house once for all and lived in the open, losing external consciousness most of the time. With her exit, her utility as a full time domestic servant of Idamannel house came to an end.

Damayanti Amma and Sugunanandan were driven by conflicting emotions in their love-hate relationship with Amma. At times, they were awed by the divinity displayed by Amma; at times they felt it was all just lunatic. Parental love overpowered them to protect and nurture their daughter. But the opposition Amma faced from a huge group of rationalists, in addition to the strong opposition of Amma’s activities by their own son Subhagan dismayed and troubled them. 

With Amma receiving Devi’s darshan finally and getting the experience of Devi merging in Her, Amma’s cyclonic and maddening sadhana period came to an end. Amma started giving Devi bhava darshan too. Her divinity was getting accepted more and more by the people living near and far. Lots of devotees thronged to her and have her Krishna bhava and Devi bhava darshans.

 

Yet, Amma’s parents faced problems both socially and financially in getting their other daughters married. Subhagan’s untimely death by committing suicide also shook them emotionally. Adding fuel to the fire, educated and young men from the surrounding towns were deeply drawn towards Ammas’ divinity and they started to frequent Amma and even wished to stay with her in her divine company for the sake of their spiritual progress. So many times, Damayanti Amma and Sugunanandan really wished that her daughter were ‘normal’ like any other village girl in the village.

The end of storm

However, as time passed, all the oppositions and negativities subsided. Slowly and steadily, Amma’s parents started to fully grasp Amma’s divine disposition, and it finally dawned to them how fortunate they were to give birth to the Universal Mother. They started actively involving themselves in supporting Amma fully in the evolution of the Ashram and taking loving care of Amma’s new children who came from far and wide and opted to live with her in quest of spirituality.

Husband and wife relationship

Apart from recalling Damayanti Amma’s ways in teaching her fundamental values and disciplines,  Amma also used to talk highly of the loving bond that existed between Damayanti Amma and Sugunanandan.  Of course, like any other married couple, Damayanti Amma too had her bickering with husband, but they were never too serious to disturb the deep marital bond. 

Amma used to mention the following incident that  happened in recent years —  maybe some 15 / 20 years ago when Damayanti Amma and Sugunanandan were aged.

One night, Damayanti Amma left her house, came to Amma’s room and knocked at the doors. When Amma inquired what happened, Damayanti Amma said, “Your Achan an I had a serious fight. There is no point in living with him any more. Please let me stay with you here”, Amma smiled and instructed her assistant Lakshmi to make necessary arrangements for Damayanti Amma to sleep there.

Next day, before dawn, Amma was busy reading letters received by her from devotees. Damayanti Amma woke up, came to Amma and said, “I am going. Your achan would feel restless if he does not get his morning tea. Let me go and prepare tea for him”.

Amma had a hearty laugh.

Whenever Amma talks of the present day couples who fight with each other on petty matters and go to the extent of seeking divorce, Amma would quote the above incident to cite what type of marital bond existed between the couples of older generation.

Across years, Damyanti Amma and Sugunanandan watched how their daughter’s name and fame spread across the world; they proudly witnessed the amazing growth of Amma’s ashram and the multitude of Amma’s philanthropic institutions across the globe. 

Sugunanandan passed away in 2010 at the age of 84. Damayanti Amma continued to live under Amma’s shade for the next 12 years. She had physical ailments to cope with and she was mostly indrawn, having least communication with the external world. 

Finally she left her frail body and merged in Amma at 97.

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