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Humorous stories from Amma – Part 4 (15 more stories)

There is no dearth of fun and frolic in the company of a Mahatma like Amma. Amma narrates several humorous and funny stories that carry spiritual wisdom. Here are  more such little stories:

1.     Surmountable Problem!

Once there were two colleagues – a male and a female – working in an office at adjacent seats. When some serious issues or crisis comes up in the office works causing them mental stress, both of them had a habit of opening their wallet and looking at a picture they had kept there. They would close their eyes and then start resuming their work with revived vigor.

Others in the office who have been watching this for long were curious to know what picture did they carry in their wallets that could give them mental peace in moments of tension.

When they inquired, the man showed the picture and said it was his wife.

“Oh! You love wife so much that when you look at her picture itself you feel energized?” they asked.

The man replied coolly, “No. At the moment of extreme problem at office, when I look at my wife’s photo, I think ‘when I have been facing such a huge problem in life, is it a big deal to face this problem in the office?’. Immediately I get the vigor to surmount any problem”.

They asked the woman colleague. The woman showed the picture which was her husband and said the same about her husband!

[Amma laughingly said, after narrating this story, “If I say the story of only a man looking at his wife’s photo, the woman folk here would come and fight with Amma that she is not fair! So, I added the woman character too in this story to escape from complaints of partiality!”

Br. Shubhamrita, who was the translator of Amma’s satsang from Malayalam to English, while translating this narrative added on his own: “Of course Amma is always partial towards men for justifiable reasons, but she added the woman character in the story today  just to ward off criticism only!” Amma too joined the laughter when Shubhamrita added his quip!]

(Beach Satsang Fri 6/2/2015)

2.  Experience

[Amma: “Rational thinking and proper understanding are same. When you can think rationally,  your understanding increases and vice versa.  If you can stay in the present wilfully, your awareness increases and you get clarity in thinking. When you get clarity,  you can foresee hints about dangers and problems that are going to come. Let Amma share with you a story she had heard:”]

Once a correspondent from a newspaper came to interview a very successful businessman. The conversation went on like this:

Correspondent: “Sir, what is the secret of your success?”

Businessman: “Just two words”.

C:  “What are they?”
B: “Right decisions”

C: “How do you take right decisions?”
B: “One word”.

C: “WHat is it?”
B: “Experience”.

C: “How do you gain experience?”
B: “Two words”.

C: “What are they?”
B: “Wrong decisions!”

(Source: From ‘Ammavin Anpu Ullaththilirunthu‘ Tamil)

3. Owning the Guru!

[Amma: “A disciple must make use of the external physical form of the guru to grasp his internal subtle form. To know the subtle form of the guru, the disciple should have a subtle mind. A disciple, instead of grasping the Guru’s real subtle form,  serves only the external physical body, it may lead to dangerous consequences. Let Amma tell you a story to narrate this:”]

Once a guru had two disciples. Both of them were always competing with each other to serve the guru. Once, while relaxing in the bed, the guru asked his disciples to massage his legs. Both came and sat on either side of the Guru. The disciple sitting on the right side said to the other, “Listen; this right leg of the guru belongs to me and the left leg is for you; Is that alright?”

The other disciple said, “OKay. But make sure to confine your services to the right leg only. Never attempt to encroach on “my” left leg of the guru. Is that clear?”

“Fine; I will take care of “my” right leg.  You should ensure that “your” left leg should never come on “my’ way. Right?”

Thus settled, both of them started to message their side of the leg of the guru.  As the guru had already dozed off, he did not hear the conversation between the disciples and their ‘property sharing agreement’.

During sleep, the Guru turned side wise. Now the right leg was lying over the left leg.  This made the second disciple very angry. He shouted at the first disciple “You have broken your agreement. I hust cannot tolerate the right leg resting over “my” left leg. Remove it immediately, else I will show you my true color. Don’t blame me for the consequences later”.

The first disciple got very angry on account of this provocation. He stood up and said, “you arrogant rascal! Don’t throw any hollow words. Come on! Show me what you can do; if anything happens to “my” right leg, that will be your end!”

Both got worked up. They took two wooden sticks in their hands. The second disciple was ready to break the right leg that has insulted the left leg by resting over it. The first disciple was also ready to break guru’s left leg, if only ‘his’ property of right leg was hit.

Hearing this commotion, the guru woke up from his slumber; he was shocked to see his disciples standing at his two sides with wooden sticks in hand, with their faces red with anger. “What happened? What are you up to?” asked the Guru.

The disciples replied, “Maharaj, you just lie down and continue with your sleep. This is something between the two of us and you don’t have to bother interfering in this matter. We will settle it ourselves!”

(From Arul Mozhigal- Part IV)

4. Going through the motion

[Amma: “Even in the path of bhakti (devotion), certain amount of jnanan (knowledge) is essential. Rituals have their place and purpose in the practice of Bhakthi but their significance must be properly understood. Blindly following rituals will not really help in one’s religious practices”.]

Once there lived a person who was very systematic in his daily worships. He would offer milk, panchamritam etc to the deity, light lamps, chant hymns and prayers daily.

He had a pet cat in his home. While he performed the pooja and chanted the hymns with closed eyes, his cat would sneak in and lick the milk kept in front of the deity. Having noticed this once, he felt bad that the milk meant for offering to God was defiled by the cat. To prevent it, the man would catch the cat before commencing the pooja,  put a basket over it to cover it and thus prevent it from roaming around.

His little son would watch his father doing pooja daily and also noticed his practice of covering the cat with the basket. However, he did not know why he was doing so.

Years passed. The father died. So did the cat. The family tradition of conducting daily pooja to the deity came on the shoulders of the son who had grown up now.

The son too arranged the materials for the pooja, prepared milk and panchamritam and did every minute details of the pooja exactly as his father used to do. Suddenly he remembered: “Oh! The cat is missing!” There ws no cat in the house, but their neighbor had one pet cat. He went to the neighbor’s house, got their permission and carried the cat to his house for the sake of puja; he placed the cat by his side and covered it with a basket! He started singing his hymns only after that.

He made this ‘ritual’ a regular one, so that the ‘traditional’ pooja procedures established by his father were practiced by him impeccably!

(Tuesday Satsang 28/3/2017)

5. The closed case

[Amma: “Most people don’t have true faith. They are only in the grip of blind faith. Instead of devotion to God, what they have is fear and doubt. Even educated people won’t accept in God, but they have lots of faith in their car, house, TV etc. These worldly things can perish at any time and yet they have faith in them; but they don’t have faith in the imperishable atman which is the indweller in all beings. What a pity! Let me tell you a story:”]

Once in a village, an aged patient lost consciousness and looked almost dead. Everyone thought he had died. As per rituals, they bathed his body, adored him with a new clothe, placed him in a coffin, conducted the last religious sermons and carried the coffin in a procession towards the cremation ground.

People carrying the coffin suddenly heard a knocking sound from inside the coffin. First they were scared. Then they stopped the procession, placed the coffin on the ground and opened it. The person inside the coffin spoke in a feeble voice, with his eyes still closed, “I am not dead; please take me out”.

But the people around did not believe what he said. They said, “The doctor checked your body and declared that you were dead; The priest too had finished the sermons and given permission to conduct your last rites and bury you. Sorry. We can’t help now”

They closed the coffin, carried to the burial ground, dug a pit, buried the coffin and returned home!

 

6. Willingness to Share

[Amma: “Most people can talk eloquently about unselfishness and sacrifice. But when it comes to putting them practically in life, they would never do it wholeheartedly”.]

Once a man was telling his friend “I really want to serve the world unselfishly and become a renunciate”.

Noticing that his voice was dry and lacked any true emotion, the friend asked, “Do you really understand what unselfishness and renunciation mean?”

“Oh, definitely” said the man.

“If so, you should be prepared to share one of your TV Sets if you have two, to a poor person who does not have TV”.

“Yes. I am ready for it”

“If you have two cars, you should give your car free to one who does not have a car”.

“No doubt about it. I will surely give”.

“If you have two cows, you should give one to a poor person who does not have a cow”.

Now the man said, “Sorry! I cannot give the cow”.

His friend got  surprised. He asked, “Why can’t you give a cow? When you can share a TV set and a car with others, will not the same logic apply to cows too?

The man said, “No. That logic would now apply. In reality, I don’t have two TV sets or two cars. But I do possess two cows!”

[Amma: “Children! This is how our renunciation truly is! If someone comes to us for help, we would wriggle out saying, ‘I could have helped you if only I had this or had that’. But in reality, even if we are in a position to help others, we really don’t wish to do it. We will invent reasons for not helping them and turn them away”.]

(Source: Arul Mozhigal-6 Tamil)

7. Where did God hide?

Long long ago, when God decided to create the world, his idea was to create a nice place for him to reside. So,  he created this earth with beautiful mountains, meadows, forests, rivers, seas, birds and animals. He lived happily in it. Everything was going fine.

Unfortunately, God made a blunder one day. He created the human beings too!

From that day onwards, he was in trouble! Day and night people started complaining to him. They prayed for something or other. Not allowing him to eat, rest or sleep, people were constantly knocking at the doors, demanding something or other from him.

God lost all his peace of mind by the never ending demands of human beings.Once he solved one problem, another problem came up. The solution he gave to one person became a problem to another person.One person prays for bountiful rains. Another person complaints that his crops get affected by rain, his roof leaks and hence he wants the raining to stop. Whatever God did brought fresh problems to him and people ceaselessly complained.

God got fed up. He called his advisors and sought a solution to escape from people. One advisor told him to retire to Himalayas. God said people would find him there and soon come chasing him. Another person suggested God to move his residence to the moon. God said, “Dear friends; the problem with you is that you cannot foresee future, while I can. In future man will travel to moon too and find me there”.

His advisors fell silent. After a while, an old advisor came close to God and murmured something in his ears. God’s face brightened up hearing his suggestion. His suggestion was: “Dear lord, you hide yourself in the hearts of the people”. God said, “Yes. This is the right suggestion. Man will never search God  within himself and hence he will never find me out there!”

[Amma: “Children! God resides in the deepest recess of our hearts. He resides there in the form of guilelessness and pure love; Our mind and our ego hide his presence there; he is always there; we have forgotten that he is ever there”.]

8.  He is cured!

Once a physician came late to his dispensary to attend to the patients. As he entered into his dispensary, he saw a man with a miserable expression on his face, as if he was trying to control something with extreme difficulty. He was standing with his back tightly pressed against the compound and legs tightly close.

Before going to his cabin he asked the compounder cum assistant who was already there at his desk as to who the person standing against the compound wall was.

The compounder said, “Oh! That man has been waiting for you for the past one hour. He came here with uncontrollable cough. Since you were late, he wanted me to give him some cough syrup for his relief. I told him that cough syrup is presently presently out of stock. But he kept on insisting me for some relief till you come and attend to him. I took pity on him and gave him a purgative syrup for relief”.

The physician got extremely angry hearing it. “Are you a fool? Are you mad to give him a purgative instead of a cough syrup?”

The compounder said coolly, “Sir, my treatment has really worked. Look at him! He is not coughing at all!”

[Amma: “Sometimes certain wrong decisions we take in life might look might deceptively look right in the short run”.]

(Amma Singapore Satsang 2/5/19)

9. Cause and effect!

Once a man with a bandage on his forehead went to meet his friend.

His friend asked: “What happened? How did you get injured?”

The man said, “Yesterday my wife fell down”.

“If she fell down, how come you have injury on your forehead?”

“When she fell down I laughed. She got angry”.

10. Searching – for what?

Once a person called up his relative over phone. It was a child voice that answered “Hello”. The person knew that it was the little son of his relative. He said, “Hi my little boy, How are you? Please call your father”.

The boy said in a very hushed tone: “Father is very busy”.

“Then call your mother”.

“Mother is quite busy”

“Both are really busy? Right. Call your elder brother”.

“Elder brother is also busy” said the boy in hushed voice.

“What my dear son! How come everyone is busy? Who else is there in the house?”

“Some policemen are there”.

The caller was intrigued. He said, “Then call one of the policeman”.

“No. They are also busy!”

“Whaaat?  Then who else is there in the house?”

“Fire service men are there”.

“I wonder what is wrong there. Call one of them”

“They are also very busy”

The caller came to his wit’s end. “What is the nonsense happening there my son? Why are so many people there? what are they busy about?”

The boy said in a hushed tone: “They are all busy searching for me!”

[Amma: “People search for happiness everywhere, but the real source of happiness is within us”.]

11.  Identify yourself!

Once a new teacher came to the Biology class. He was teaching about different birds, their features, food and hunting habits etc. He announced: “Tomorrow there will be a midterm test on this subject. You have to do more self-study on this subject yourself. Let me tell you beforehand that the test could be somewhat unconventional so as to test how well you have grasped the subject.”

One student studied the textbook and also memorized the standard questions and answers on the subject.  He was quite confident to score good mark in the crucial test.

The next day, the new teacher had kept some five curated and stuffed models of birds on the table, with their bodies fully covered and only their legs and claws exposed.

The question paper read: “Identify the birds by their legs and write salient details of each bird giving their features, habitats, flying capacity and food habits”.

The student, who was all along used to only conventional exams was very upset and angry because he could never imagine such an unconventional way of testing the students. He felt it was not at all fair to conduct a test like this.

He walked angrily towards the new teacher, threw his empty answer paper on his table and said, “Sir, we are not used to these types of exams. It is not right to force such a surprise test on us. I am sorry to tell you that it is very unfair to make us fail or lose marks this way. I am protesting against this test and I am going to walkout without writing this test”.

He stomped out of the room. When he was near the entrance, the new teacher shouted, “Hey! What is your name and roll number?”

The boy promptly turned back, lifted up his pants up to his knees and said, “Sir, Look at my legs and find out yourself!”

 

12.  You get what you deserve

Once a rishi was taking bath in a river. A little mouse that somehow fell into the river got drifted towards the sage by the river stream. The sage picked up the mouse and brought it to his hut. He somehow developed a liking for the mouse which interacted with him with love. Using his yogic powers, he blessed the mouse to become the  a beautiful princess of the country.

The princess grew up and the king started looking for the right match for her. One day the king brought the princess to the sage and sought his blessings and guidance for getting the right husband for her.

The mouse in the form of the princess fell at the feet of her erstwhile savior. The sage asked her affectionately, “What sort of husband do you wish? I will bless you accordingly”.

The princess said, “My husband must be the most powerful personality in the whole world”.

The sage said, “The entire world’s survival depends on the sun. He is indeed the most powerful ruler of this world. Shall I ask the sun God to marry you?”

The princess thought for a while and said, “But the clouds can cover the sun from shining on the earth; is not the cloud more powerful than the sun?”

“Well; then I will arrange your marriage with the God of rains” said the sage.

The princess thought for a while and said, “But the clouds can be blown over and dispersed by the wind; is not the  wind more powerful than the cloud?”

“Well; If you think so, I will arrange your marriage with Vayu, the wind God” said the sage.

The princess thought for a while and said, “But I am afraid the mountain is more powerful than the wind, because it  can stop the movement of wind.  Is not the mountain  more powerful than the wind?”

The sage chuckled within himself and said, “Well; in fact there is something more powerful than the mountain too”.

“Who is it? I would be glad to marry him!” said the princess.

“A mouse. A mouse can dig a hole even through a mountain. Is it not more powerful than the mountain?”

The princess jumped with joy! “Yes, yes! I will marry the mouse!”

The sage laughed aloud; he sprinkled some holy water on the princess and converted her back to a mouse, so that she could marry a male mouse and live happily thereafter!

[Amma: “Every one of us are in fact the Atman which is essentially divine and beyond birth and death. Yet, because of maya, we tend to lower our real status by identifying ourselves with our body and mind and thus limit ourselves”.]

(Amma Satsang on 1.6.19)

12.  As you interpret, so you understand

Once two boys got a bunch of nuts to eat.  They went to sit under a huge shady tree at the back end of a cemetery. They took out the pack and decided to share them equally. Picking the nuts one by one they said, “This one is for you, this one is for me” and started dividing them. As they picked up the nuts some of them rolled out and fell close to the fence of the cemetery.  The boys noticed it and yet they continued with their job of dividing, leaving those nuts at the fence to be picked up at the end.

Just behind the fence, there was a road. A boy from the nearby locality came by bicycle towards that place. He heard some voices from inside the cemetery; he was curious to know what was going on. He stopped there, went close to the fence and sharpened his ears to hear the conversation inside. He heard “This one is for you and this one is for me” again and again. He was shocked.

With pounding heart, he rushed in his bicycle to share what he found out to the first person he encountered. An old man was walking by that side and the boy said, “Uncle! I heard the weirdest conversation between God and Satan inside the cemetery!”

The old man laughed and asked, “What did you hear?”

“I heard God and Satan sharing the the souls between them in the cemetery  saying “this one is for you and this one is for me!”.

“Whh..at? That is nonsense!” said the old man.

“But uncle, believe me! I heard it; please come with me; perhaps we can still hear it”.

Out of curiosity, the old man rushed to the spot along with the boy. Sure he could also hear “This one is for you and this one is for me” from inside the cemetery!

The old man was very curious to investigate. He went close to the fence and see whether there are any gaps through which they can peep in and see what was going on.  He found a small gap in the fence and when he looked in he could see a wide tree trunk and nothing more.  With difficulty he widened the gap so that both of them could look inside.

But they could still not notice the two boys there inside, as the tree trunk was hiding them. They heard, “Okay. This one is for you and this one is for me. We are almost finished. Let us pick those nuts at the fence and share between us. Then we are done!”

Hearing this the old man and the boy had the shock of their lives. Instantly they took to heels and ran like mad from the spot!

[Amma: “Limited by our own preconceived ideas and intellectual limitations, we misinterpret many things in life and suffer out of it”.]

13.  Perks?

Once, when the monthly phone bill came for the landline phone in the house, the husband felt shocked. The amount was exorbitantly high. ‘Someone is excessively using the phone here; it must be my wife’ he thought.

He called his wife and showed her the bill. “I am afraid you are excessively talking in the phone; it’s time you stopped it immediately” he said.

The wife felt offended. “No! I am hardly using this phone; whatever personal calls I make, I do it from my office phone and not from here! It must be our son who is doing this” she said.

The father called his son and inquired. “No papa! I don’t use our landline phone for my personal calls. I only make use of office phone for this purpose”. Then, after thinking for  while, he said in a subdued voice, “I think it is our new servant maid, who is using our phone. I have noticed her talking from our phone on a few occasions when none of us are in the hall!”

The father was shocked to hear this. He immediately called the new servant maid and inquired.  She admitted that she was indeed using the phone and added, “What’s wrong in it? I am also using the office phone, no?”

[Amma: “All of us nurture double standards in our life; whatever we do is perfectly normal but if others do it it is wrong!”]

13.  What’s the time?

Once, a person went to the house of an old friend. They were meeting after a very long time. The friends talked happily for hours reminiscing many old incidents across a couple of drinks. It became late at night. Suddenly the visitor said, “Oh! It is already late! Wonder how time just flew by talking about our good old days! What is the time like? My wife will be waiting for me and she will get worried; My mobile has no charge…” Saying so, he looked around for a wall clock.

The host said, “Sorry, I don’t have a wall clock or a timepiece. My mobile too is out of order… Wait! Let me find out the time for you…”

So saying, he took out a hammer from his tool box and started hitting the wall. After a while, there was a loud voice shouting from the adjacent flat: “You idiot!  Don’t you have sense that others are sleeping? What are you breaking at midnight 12 o’clock?”

The man smiled gleefully and said to his friend, “Got it? It is 12 o’clock now!”

[Amma: “Some people are so selfish and insensitive that they don’t care causing inconvenience to others in order to fulfil their selfish motives.”]

15. New Year Resolution

A group of friends were celebrating New Year Day. A youngster asked for a cigarette from his friend. His friend said, “Didn’t you tell me that you have taken a resolution not to smoke from this New Year?”

The youngster replied, “Yes. I am indeed stopping it stage by stage. The first stage is this”.

“What do you mean by first stage?”

“In the first stage, I have resolved not to buy cigarettes from my own money and I will smoke only by getting cigarettes from my friends”.

[Amma: “Children, our resolutions should never be like what this youngster did! Once we take a resolution, we should implement it, come what may”.]

 

 

 

Humorous stories from Amma – Part 3 (15 more stories)

There is no dearth of fun and frolic in the company of a Mahatma like Amma. Amma narrates several humorous and funny stories that carry spiritual wisdom. Here are  more such little stories:

1.  Thanklessness

[Amma: “Man shamelessly take things from nature with utter greed. He never seems to be thankful for whatever he has received”].

Once a man was standing in a bus stop. Since the bus he was waiting to board broke down, there was lot of delay. As the man kept looking around idly, he noticed an ice-cream vendor nearby. During the long period of waiting, nobody seemed to buy any icecream from the vendor. Seeing his impoverished looks, the passenger took pity on the vendor and asked, “How much does a cup of ice-cream cost?”

“Five rupees” said the vendor. The man took out a five rupee coin from his pocket gave it to the vendor, and walked away without collecting the ice-cream, intentionally.  The but too gor repaired by that time and he boarded the bus and went away.

A couple of days later too, the man came to the ice-cream vendor, asked for the ice-cream, gave another 5 rupees, and went away without collecting the ice-cream.

Within the next one year or so, the same thing happened several times.

One day the man came to the vendor once again. This time the vendor could not contain his curiosity. He asked, “Sir, may  I know why you are giving me five rupees again and again but not collecting the ice-cream?”

The man said, “See, I have no liking for ice-cream. When I gave you five rupees for the first time, I was feeling that I should do some little help to you, since you were not doing any business for long, as I watched you from a distance from the bus stand. Actually, I was waiting in the bus stand that day to catch my bus to go to a job interview. Surprisingly, I got the job and I came and donated another five rupees for you”

“You were giving money a few more times too subsequently; why?” asked the vendor.

The man said, “At one time, I got a huge order for my company and I received a good incentive money for it. I came here the next day and gave money to you. Subsequently, I got a promotion quickly and I came here again. To day, i have come here to give your five rupees because I got promoted to Manager post today!”

The vendor said coolly, “Sir, it’s all fine. But I have to tell you something; since last week, the price of the ice-cream has been increased from five rupees to ten rupees”.

(Devi bhava satsang abroad 4/3/2015)

2.  How to lessen the shock

[Amma: “Effective communication is very important for good relationships”]

Once a wife went on a tour while her husband stayed back. She was very fond of her pet cat and gave strict instructions to her husband to take good care of the cat during her absence.

One day, the cat climbed over the roof of the house. Unfortunately it slipped from there, fell down and died.

The husband sent an SMS to his wife: “Your cat is dead”. The wife was very shocked and got very upset. She cut short of her trip and returned home. She shouted at her husband for his carelessness and said, “You won’t understand what a huge shock it was for me to see your sudden SMS informing of the cat’s death. You see, you should have a heart for understanding your wife’s sentiments and have some tact to convey the message. You should have first told me ‘the cat climbed onto the roof’. Then you must have informed ‘it fell down, got some injury and is undergoing treatment’, then ‘the cat is in serious condition’ and finally, ‘the cat passed away’. This way I would be able to absorb the bad news step by step, digest it without getting a shock”.

“Okay, dear; I understood” said the husband.

The wife left again to resume her tour. Within a few days, she got an SMS from her husband: “Your mother climbed on the roof”.

(Devi bhava satsang abroad 4/3/2015)

3.  The drunkard’s resolve

Once a drunkard went to a new bar and ordered 3 glasses of drink.  The bartender asked “Why are you asking for 3 glasses, Sir? You have come alone”.

The drunkard said, “I had two best friends and we normally drink together; one has left for USA and the other left for Australia in pursuit of their jobs; now I want to drink their share too, in fond memory of them”.

The drunkard kept visiting the same bar everyday and his habit of ordering 3 glasses and drinking all of them became regular.

One day he came to the bar as usual and ordered only two glasses of drink. The friendly bartender said, “I am sorry about it”.

“Why are you feeling sorry?” asked the drunkard.

“Since you ordered only two glasses of drink, I thought one of your friends might have died”.

“Don’t  say any such nonsense to me! Both of them are hale and healthy”.

“Sorry sir;  Then why did you order only two glasses of whisky today?” asked the bartender with curiosity.

“See, I have become quite concerned about my health. My doctor too advised me to stop drinking. So,  I have decided to stop drinking from today.  It is MY share of the drinks that I did not order today; Understand?”

4.  The patient listener-1

Once a scholar gave a lecture to a gathering of 3000 people in a large hall. He was so much immersed in his monolog that he kept talking on and on and the audience started getting bored. people started leaving the hall one by one and then gradually more and more. But the scholar kept continuing unabated. After a while, the whole hall was empty except for one person sitting at the front row and listening.

Finally the scholar stopped. He felt very happy to see at least one person sitting through the lecture till the end and he felt very thankful to him. He appreciated the man and asked, “Did you find the entire talk so helpful to you?”

The man replied: “No sir; the ‘asana’ (mat) on which you are sitting and delivering the talk belongs to my wife. If I  go home without collecting it, she will scold me!”.

5.  The sad story at the end

[Amma: “The importance of spirituality in life should be grasped early in life. Leading a life without spirituality and realizing the need much later in life will only bring sorrow.”]

Once three friends Ramu, Somu and Komu went on a holiday to a new city. They stayed in a hotel and their room was at the 60th floor.

They took a cab to go round sight seeing in the city. There was a rule followed in the hotel that the elevators would be switched off at 12 at midnight and hence all the guests were advised beforehand that they should ensure return to the hotel before midnight.

Ramu, Somu and Komu who spent the whole day in sight seeing and then in partying at a bar till late night; they  forgot totally about the Hotel rules. When they returned to the hotel in a cab, it was 1 AM and the elevator was already switched off. They had no option but to walk up all the 60 floors using the stairs.

Ramu said, “To forget the strain of climbing up, I will keep cracking jokes till we reach 20th floor; from 20th to 40th floor, let Somu keep telling happy stories; from 40th to 60th floor, let Komu keep telling sad stories”. The friends agreed.

Hearing Ramu’s jokes, they climbed the first 20 floors without strain. Then Somu started narrating happy stories and they managed to climb another 20 stories with effort. Finally Komu started narrating several sad stories and with lots of stress and strain they managed to reach the 60th floor.

Just then Komu said, “Now I am going to tell you the saddest story of all. Friends, we have left behind our room key at the cab itself”.

(Amma’s New year day Satsang 2016)

 

6.   One level below!

[Amma: “The causes and effects of karma work in a cyclic way. Men of the past dominated women unduly. Now the cycle is reversed.”]

A dominating husband in a household used to keep telling his wife that she must always be one step below him. To check how far she had understood his instructions, he asked: “If I sit in a chair, where will you sit?”

The wife said, “I will sit in a stool, lower than the chair”.

He asked: “If I sit in the stool, where will you sit?”

She replied: “I will sit in the floor, below you”.

He asked again: “Suppose, I sit in the floor, what will you do?”

After some thinking, the wife said, “I will dig a hole in the ground and sit inside, below your level”.

The husband was still unrelenting. He asked: “Suppose, I sit in the hole, what will you do?”

The wife said instantly: “Ah! I am  just waiting for that moment! I will immediately fill the hole with the mud and then sit over you!”

(Amma US Tour Satsang June 2016)

7.  The costlier one!

[Amma: “In this world, many people live like the blind. They see things superficially without a deeper focus. They judge things very lightly with no capacity to see what is true. The present society seems to dwell in a half-sleep state”.]

Once a rich man wanted to present a very costly and highly valuable gift to his friend. He went to an antique shop and went around to see the various objects of the past kept displayed in glass shelves. He saw one skull there with a price tag of 25,000 dollars. He wondered why it was so costly. Next to it was another skull, much smaller in size, but carrying a price tag of 50,000 dollars. He could not contain his surprise.

The shop man explained: “Sir, the larger skull is that of the very first king that ruled this country thousands of years ago. it is such a rare and precious item that antique collectors can hardly come across! I hope you will agree with me that the price tag it carries is justified for its rarity and historic relevance.”

“But why is the smaller one costing double? What is so rare about it?”

“Ah! That too is the skull of the same king; but it looks small because it was his skull when he was a  boy.” said the shop man.

“Oh! Is that so? That’s fantastic! I will buy the small one!’ said the rich man.

8.  Hasty act!

[Amma: “Before engaging in any karma, one should use his discrimination too.”]

Once there was a very smart salesman who went out of the way with strange tactics to impress his customers and sell his vacuum cleaners.

He took his Wet and Dry vacuum cleaner for selling to a new locality. He located a house where the front door was open. He tiptoed to the house and peeped in to see whether anyone was in the reception room. Since no one was there, he rushed back, brought a packet of cow dung and quickly sprinkled them at the reception floor. He withdrew immediately and after a few minutes, he came back and rang the doorbell.

The lady in the house came out from the kitchen and the first thing she noticed was the reception floor dirtied by cow dung. She was shocked and surprised and then looked up the door to see the salesman standing outside.

“What do you want?” she asked.

“Good morning madam! I am coming from so-and-so firm selling wet and dry vacuum cleaner; may I come inside and arrange a demo for you?”

Even before she invited him inside, the salesman entered into the reception and feigned a surprise by looking at the floor! “Oh my God! What happened madam? Oh! Don’t worry; it looks I have come at the right time; I will straight away demonstrate how our machine cleans up this mess in no time”. He unpacked his machine and asked “Where is the plug point, madam?”

The woman, who was smart enough to understand that the mischief had been done by the salesman,  went inside and came back with a bucket of water and a mop; she extended them to the salesman and said, “I am afraid you have to clear up this mess with water and mop only. Please do it right now”.  The salesman said, “No madam! The electric machine is here; Show me the plug point please!”

The woman said coolly: “We don’t have electricity in the house”.

(Amma’s birthday satsang 2016)

9.  ‘Pet’ty problem!

[Amma: “Children, learn to understand respect others’ emotions. Listen to their problem with love and affection. A husband/ wife should accept the spouse wholeheartedly. Let there not be any secretiveness in relationship. All said and done, differences in opinions, misunderstandings and arguments will happen. Amma will tell you a funny story she heard…: “]

Once a wife was very desirous of owning a pet at home. But her husband never would agree to it. One day when the husband was away from home, the wife bought a little monkey and brought it home to raise it as her pet.

When the husband was back at home, he felt very angry to see the little monkey there. He shouted at his wife and asked “What food will you give for it?”. The wife said, “Whatever we eat”.

“Where will he sleep?” he demanded to know.

“In the same bed where we sleep” said the wife defiently.

“Oh! How about the bad smell?”

The wife said coolly: “Am I not tolerating  bad smell for the past twenty years? I think the monkey too will get used to it!”

(Source: Arul Mozhigal-8 Tamil)

10.  The cause of love

[Amma: “In the present day, it appears interpersonal relationships have lost meaning. It is rare to see true love between husband and wife. They seem to only nurture fear and distrust. They tend to analyze and weigh each other. True love becomes absent because of it. Only superficial relationship seems to exist between them due to lack of love and understanding. Amma remembers a funny story…”]

Once two friends met. One said, “You are lucky; you have a beautiful lover; what does she think of you?”

The friend said, “She thinks I am wonderful, good singer and a great painter”.

“What do you like in her?”

“I like her because she thinks I am wonderful, good singer and a great painter!”

(Source: Arul Mozhigal-8 Tamil)

 

11.  Accepting reality

One day, a father, noticing that his son had not got up from bed and was sleeping far beyond normal time, tried to wake up his son. The son was in no mood to get up; he tried to cover his face with the blanket and mumbled, “Papa, don’t trouble me; I don’t want to get up now…”

The father said, “Give me three reasons why you don’t want to get up”.

The son said, “One, I don’t want to go to school; two, school is boring; and three, children are making fun of me”.

The father then said, “Now I will give you three reasons why you should get up: One, you should go to the school — it is your duty; two, you are fifty years old and three, you are the principal of the school!”

(Tuesday Satsang 6/2/18)

12.  Women’s Expectations!

Once in a Supermarket, there was an exclusive section for women to ‘buy’ husbands of their choice! That section had 6 floors. There was a huge display board explaining the rules applicable to women who wanted to ‘shop’ for husbands there.

The rules were as follows:

  1.  Each floor has prospective grooms with certain qualities and the higher floors  have grooms with higher qualifications.
  2. A woman must  pick up a suitable mate at which ever floor she found a suitable mate and  exit from the store.
  3. If she is not satisfied at one floor, she is free to go up to a higher floor and look for better alternatives, but she cannot come back to a lower floor again with a revised choice!

Lots of women found it very exciting! They climbed up to the first floor and saw the display board. It said, “You will get well employed husbands earning very well here”.  “Oh, that’s good. Any way, let us see what is available in the next floor” so thinking, the women climbed up to the 2nd floor.

The notice board in the second floor said, “You will get husbands earning well and also looking quite handsome here in this floor”. Many women found it quite impressive. Yet, they wanted to know what is better in the next floor.

The notice board in the third floor announced “Husbands having good jobs, looking handsome and also having love for children can be had here”.  “Oh! This is indeed fantastic. What more would a woman need? Anyway, I am curious to know what better grooms are available in the next floor”. They moved up.

The board in the fourth floor said, “Well earning husbands, very handsome, loving children and offering help to wives in domestic chores are available here”. “Oh! This is really heavenly! I should definitely settle for this. Yet let me see what could really be better in the next floor” so saying the women moved up.

The board in the 5th floor announced: “Well earning grooms, very handsome, loving children, helping women in domestic chores and also giving full freedom to wives are available here”.  The women were flabbergasted. They could not imagine whether there could be anything greater than this ever possible in earth. Yet. Why not find out? Why miss another choice?

The board in the 6th floor had a huge electronic display and it said, “Welcome to 6th floor; In this floor, we don’t have any grooms to offer and we congratulate you for being the 2,34,45,567th woman visitor, seeking the most suitable husband!”

13.  What a Genie can do!

Once  a man was casually walking along the seashore. He noticed a glass bottle getting washed to the shore by the waves and he picked it up. Upon curiosity, he opened the bottle. Surprisingly, a genie came out of the bottle and saluted him. “Thank you for releasing me! I am your slave now. I can carry out three wishes from you. Please order me what to do”.

The man was overjoyed hearing this. He said, “I want a great grand palace for me to live in”.

The genie nodded.  There was a banging sound “boom boom” and within no time, there stood a huge palace, on the ground , right in front of them. “I want huge wealth” he asked next. ‘Boom boom’. the palace was instantly filled with mounds of gold and silver! The man could not control his joy!

Now he thought deeply of the third and final wish he could make. He made up his mind and said, “I should become  lovable to all women on earth”. Boom boom! The genie made him into a chocolate!

(Monday beach satsang 16/1/2017)

14.  What even Genie can’t do!

Once  a man was casually walking along the seashore. He noticed a glass bottle getting washed to the shore by the waves and he picked it up. Upon curiosity, he opened the bottle. Surprisingly, a genie came out of the bottle and saluted him. “Thank you for releasing me! I am your servant now. Please order me what to do”.

The man was very surprised. He thought for a while and said, “For a long time, I have been nurturing a wish to visit Hawaii islands. But I am allergic to travel by air. I don’t want to sail by sea too, as the journey will be slow, long and tiring. I want you to construct a highway and sea bridge from here to travel to Hawaii comfortably by car”.

The Genie said, “Do you ever imagine the amount of construction work involved in this” Do you know how many tons of steel, cement etc are needed and the extent of cost in labor and construction?  This is too big an extravaganza just for satisfying the fancy of an individual like you. Can you ask me something else, please?”

The man thought for a while and said. “Well, in that case, you teach me the secret of knowing a woman’s heart. I really want to know what makes a woman happy, what are truly her wishes and intentions and how to understand their needs and satisfy them fully”.

The genie thought for a while and said, “Well. Do you want a 4-lane  or a 6-lane highway for Hawaii?”

15. The adamant horse

Once the owner of a very famous race horse offered it for sale in a marketplace. The horse was very well built, powerful and also was difficult to control and ride. The owner spoke very high of his horse and explained how many races it had successfully won. There were many people who eagerly came forward to buy it, but the owner was demanding a hefty price for it. At last, one horse lover bought it by bidding a large amount and brought it to his house with pride.

The horse was rather adamant in not allowing him to mount on it.  But after lots of cajoling, he managed to mount the horse. There was one secret with the horse that the new owner did not know of. The horse had been trained in such a way that when the rider utters “I” it will start running; it will stop only when it hears the word “God”.

After mounting the horse, the owner tried to make it run by many tactics but the horse refused to budge. In exasperation, the owner said, “Oh if only I know the secret of making you run…” The moment the horse heard the word “I”, it started running. The owner felt very happy. The horse was running extremely fast and the owner was really thrilled. After a while, he wanted to stop the horse. He tried all the known and popular methods of stopping the horse but nothing worked. The horse was running non-stop with abundant energy; soon it started climbing a small hill.

The rider was really worried. None of his efforts to stop the horse worked. Soon the horse was running towards a cliff in the hill. As the horse reached the cliff, the rider shouted out of fear, “Oh God, please save me!”. The moment the horse heard the word ‘God’ it stopped. Had the horse taken one more step, both would have fallen off the cliff and surely met death.

The rider was extremely relieved. In the meantime, several people who saw the horse running uncontrollably and the rider riding it with fear of death writ large on his face, were running behind them, with the intent of offering any possible help should the man fall from the horse.

Those chased behind him caught up with him and they reached the cliff. They felt very relieved to see the horse standing there still. “Good to see you alive” they said. The man wanted to impress the people who might be thinking that he was an inept and inexperienced rider, that he was indeed capable. He said, “See, how I have successfully brought this adamant horse to my control at the last minute!”.

The moment the horse heard the word “I”, it surged forward!

[Amma: Our sense of “I”, the ego, is the greatest cause of trouble.”]