Humorous stories from Amma – Part 8 ( 10 more stories)
There is no dearth of fun and frolic in the company of a Mahatma like Amma. Amma narrates several humorous and funny stories that carry spiritual wisdom. Here are more such little stories:
(If you have not read the previous 15 stories in this series, please click here —> Part 7 (Humorous stories from Amma)
1. Who taught her?!
Once a newly married couple came to live in a housing complex. The wife woke up in the morning was looking through the glass window of her apartment at the lawn in the opposite apartment. Several washed clothes were hanging there for drying. She said to her husband, “Oh! The washed clothes are still dirty. It looks like the woman there does not know how to wash clothes clean!”
The husband did not make any comment.
Then it became almost regular for the wife to make the same comment every morning. “I wish someone teaches her how to wash clothes properly” she would add. Her husband did not open his mouth.
A few weeks went by. One day the wife spoke to her husband with a voice full of surprise. “Hey! It looks our neighbor has, at last, learned how to wash clothes clean! Today, all the dresses hanging there are clean and bright! I wonder who taught her the right way!’
The husband said in a cool voice: “This morning I got up early and washed all the glass panes of our windows clean!”
[Amma: “This is what is happening in our lives too. If we have to see goodness in others, our hearts must become pure first. Our ego, pride, envy, crookedness, hatred, etc. cause our vision to be tainted. Because of it, we are not able to accept and digest others’ actions and behavior and behave friendly with them.”]
(Source: Amritam Gamaya – Malayalam – Vol 1)
2. Escape from death?
Once there lived a sculptor who was very much afraid of death. How to escape death? This question was always nagging his mind. He used to think of so many ways and finally felt there was one good idea which he could try.
He made 12 statues looking exactly like him in all respects. They were so lifelike. His idea was that when the messenger of death comes in search of him, he could pose like one among the statues and the messenger would get confused and perhaps leave empty-handed!
The time of his death indeed arrived. The sculptor saw the arrival of the messenger of death. He immediately joined the group of 12 statues and stood there holding his breath, avoiding all movements. The messenger of death too got confused to see 13 statues looking exactly alike!
After thinking for a while, he said aloud, “All these statues are really well crafted and look alike. The sculptor is indeed extremely talented. But unfortunately he has made one fault in all of them”.
The ego of the sculptor got offended on hearing this. He forgot his precarious state and asked loudly, “What fault? what fault? How dare you find fault in my work? Tell me where is the fault”.
“Here it is!” so saying the messenger caught hold of the sculptor and dragged him along to the nether world!
[Amma: “When the ego rises saying “I am the doer”, then all woes come. The idea that ‘I am the doer’ is the one that causes bondage.”]
(Source: Amritam Gamaya – Malayalam – Vol 1)
3. Greedy Cheater?
There was a bakery in a village. The bakery owner used buy butter regularly from a farmer who owned cows. The farmer was a guileless, good person.
The baker was getting disturbed about a thing. He was suspecting that the farmer was not really giving the right weight of butter that he regularly ordered on a daily basis. Is the farmer cheating him by giving less?
He started measuring the weight of the butter with the weighing stone that he possessed. It was amply clear that the butter was short in weight. He got convinced that he had been getting cheated; he made a complaint to the village headman about it.
The village chief called the farmer for an inquiry. He explained the complaint and said to the farmer, “You go and bring your weighing stone immediately. We would like to check it for correctness”.
The farmer fumbled for a while and then said, “Sorry sir, I really don’t have any weighing stone, but I assure you I am not a cheat”.
“How do you say so? How do you weigh and supply the butter without a weighing stone?”
The farmer said, “Sir, I regularly buy bread from the same bakery. I use that bread as the measuring weight to measure the weight of the butter I supply. So, I am not faulty; if the butter is underweight, then it means the bread I have been buying is underweight! ”
[Amma: “Don’t wait for others to reform themselves before we change. We should reform ourselves first.”]
(Source: Amritam Gamaya – Malayalam – Vol 1)
4. Lucky day?
Once a man got up early in the morning. He felt very refreshed after a good night’s sleep and his mood was upbeat. He had positive thoughts brimming inside him that morning.
As looked at the clock, he noticed that it was showing the time as 9. The clock had stopped working the previous night. The man came to the balcony. It was refreshingly chill. He checked the temperature and it showed 9 degrees Centigrade.
After brushing, he picked up the newspaper. It showed the date was 9.
“Curious!” he thought to himself.
After reading his newspaper, he went to the kitchen to fix his breakfast. Opening the breadbin, he found exactly nine slices left. After breakfast, the local temple committee members came to meet him, to seek donation from him. Interestingly, there were exactly nine men in the group.
His mind started working at a furious pace. “Something is imminent! I am soon going to be very lucky in something!” He was so excited that he could neither sit nor stand. He picked up the newspaper again, and his eyes fell on the horse-racing page. “What a wonder!” he exclaimed. “The name of the 9th horse in the 9th race today is ‘Niner’. This is precisely the pointer. My success is guaranteed.”
The man didn’t hesitate. He rushed to the bank, withdrew all the savings he had there, and went to the racecourse with that money. He betted the entire amount on horse ‘Niner’. The race began. The man sat daydreaming, counting his winnings. At last, the results were announced. The horse “Niner,” the ninth horse, in the 9th race, had cleared the finishing line—in ninth place!
[ Amma: “The decisions of the Supreme come to us as hints from Nature. We should have proper awareness of dharma and justice to see them and understand them properly. Otherwise, our fate may be similar to that of the man in the story.”]
(From Amma’s New year satsang 2021)
5. Outside or inside – Be careful!
This is a story related to the Lockdown period during the Corona Virus threat.
The husband was confined to the house; his wife was serving him food.
The husband said, “Is this how you used to cook in the past? Earlier, your preparations would taste nice and contain nice flavor; my tongue used to water as the smell of your cooking comes through the air from the kitchen; nowadays, your cooking is tasteless and flavorless. Why is it getting worse day by day?”
The wife did not utter a word. She continued to serve food. Day after day, this complaint from the husband became a routine.
Suddenly on one such day, an Ambulance came to his house. A couple of policemen too arrived at the gate. They called the man out. As the husband came out of the house, few persons wearing full protective gear caught hold of him and dragged him into the Ambulance. Within no time they drove the Ambulance to a Corona Special ward in the local hospital.
“What happened? Why are you doing this to me?” shouted the husband.
The Ambulance staff said, “We received a phone call from your wife saying that she suspects symptoms of Corona infection in you as you complained to her that you have no sense of smell or taste of late. That’s why we have brought you here for treatment.”
[ Amma: “Nowadays such things happen in a husband and wife relationship! If people confine themselves to their houses fearing external threats, they end up facing internal threats like this!”]
6. The artistic tailor!
A man went to a leading tailor who was very famous for creating new trends in the market. He gave the cloth piece to the tailor; the tailor took all the measurements and informed the man to come after a week for collecting the shirt.
A week passed and the man went to the tailor. The shirt was ready. After wearing the shirt, the man found that the left arm was longer and the right arm was much shorter. When the man complained about it, the tailor responded saying “This is the new fashion. You are unfortunately unaware of the new trends, my dear man. All you have to do is lift up your right shoulder and match the length; that’s all ”. The man agreed and wore the shirt.
Then he found one strange thing! There was a huge ball of cloth on the back of the shirt below the neck. He thought that the tailor by mistake has stitched it along with the shirt. He again enquired tailor about it. The tailor replied impatiently, “ I already told you that I am a creative artist and this is my new creation. It’s a masterpiece. You just have to bend a little and walk, my dear!”
The man was elated. He thought that it was indeed his fortune that he was able to wear such a fine dress created by an artist. He put on the shirt and walked in style with a hunched back and a raised hand. He looked around to see if anyone was noticing him and his new style. Yes, in fact, a passer-by did notice it immediately and remarked “I know who has stitched this shirt for you. Only an expert like him could have done such a perfect work!”
The man was even more happy when he heard the compliments. Wow, he did not know that the tailor was so famous. He asked, “Sir, how do you know that this was done by that expert?”
The passerby said, “It is so obvious, we have only one tailor in this town who is a specialist in stitching clothes for physically handicapped people!”
[ Amma: “In this story, the man got carried away by the fame and the claims of the artistically inclined tailor, and gave more importance to the outfit than his own body. Because of it, he became a loser. In the same way, we give too much importance to the whims of our mind and forget our real Self. That’s how our downfall happens. We tend to obey what the mind says. Mind is like an expert salesman. Salesmen tend to lure us with their loud sales pitches, and we buckle. The mind will say, “yes, yes, let’s buy”. This is the nature of the mind. That’s how we become slaves to our minds. The mind should be turned inward. The guru is one who shows us the substratum of the mind, which is Atman.”]
(From Amma’s Gurupurnima Satsang dt 23/7/2021)
7. Blackmail!
Once a father and his young boy were returning to Calcutta after visiting Kerala for a death ceremony. The father had to join his office and the son had to attend school. The duration of train journey was almost two days.
When the train stopped at a station, a vendor came into their compartment, selling chocolates. “Dad, I want chocolates” said the boy. The father said, “This morning, you stuffed yourself with so many things during the breakfast and you vomited subsequently. Your stomach is upset. It is not good to eat chocolates now. I will get you after we reach home”.
But the boy was adamant. He rolled his eyes and said to his father sternly, “I want chocolates right now. If you don’t get me, I will tell the truth to everybody here”. Without any further word, the father bought the chocolates and gave it to his son.
When the train stopped at the next station, a vendor of Coca-Cola entered the compartment and started selling it. “Dad, I want the cola!” said the boy. The father said, “You see, after eating the chocolate, you have a mild fever now. You are not alright since this morning. I won’t buy you a cola”. The boy got agitated and started demanding it again and again. As the father refused to yield, the boy said, “Ok! Then I will tell the truth to everybody”. The father immediately bought the Coca-Cola for his son.
When the next stop came, an Ice cream vendor came in. The boy wanted it too and as usual, the father refused, saying, “You have got fever and you have started getting loose motion too. I will not buy Ice cream for you”. The boy again threatened his father that he would reveal the truth to everybody.
A person sitting in the next seat was all along watching all the drama. With much curiosity, he asked the boy’s father, “Why are you permitting your boy’s tantrum so much? Why is he threatening you that he will reveal the truth? What is the matter?”
The boy’s father said, “Well; there is no point in hiding the truth further. If I keep on yielding to his blackmail, my boy will get totally sick and how can I find a doctor or medicines during the journey, if he becomes too sick? Let me reveal the truth myself. I have not bought any ticket for him for the journey. I had told him not to reveal it to anybody”.
[Amma: “This will the problem if elders don’t have values. How can they set an example to their children and also discipline them if they themselves have no principles and values? How will the children respect and obey the parents?“]
(Amma’s Vishu Satsang 15/4/2022)
8. No use, Dad!
[Amma: “All parents want their children to grow up to become good humanbeings. But most often, children do not live up to their parents’ expectations. What is important is that the parents themselves have to become role models.“]
Once a father said to his son, “Dear boy, go to the neighbouring ashram every evening, and listen to the satsaṅg lectures given by the sanyasis there. They will prove to be very valuable to you in your life”.
The son asked, “Father, did you listen to such satsaṅgs when you were my age?”
“Yes, of course!” replied the father.
“Then it is of no use, Dad,” said the boy. “It is obvious that it certainly didn’t help you, Nor will it help me!”
9. Blessed life!
Once a cat died and reached heaven. God asked him, “What do you need in heaven?”
The cat said, “I lead a comfortable and contented life in a farmer’s barn and died a natural death. I have no desires.” The God felt happy. He gave him a soft mattress to relax and allowed him to lie in a corner of the heaven.
Next a large batch of rats came to the heaven. Hundreds of such rats had been crushed under a boulder in a landslide and that was how they came to heaven after death. God asked them, “What do you need in heaven?”
The rats said, “We rats are always used to run and roam around. We were always chased by cats; Snakes chased and ate us; so were owls. Humans hated us as we ate their farm produce, and they killed us using various means. We were always on the run to save our lives and naturally we are so tired of running. So, what we pray to you is to provide us with roller skates to wear, so that we can run around as we please without straining our legs”.
God conceded to their prayer and all the rats got roller skates. The rats felt extremely happy. They could now roam around the heaven at breakneck speeds without physically straining themselves and they thoroughly enjoyed it.
After a few months, the God came to see them all. He was surprised to see that the number of rats have diminished. He asked them, “Why are many of you rats missing? Where are they?”
The rats said, “Lord, we really don’t know. We all keep frolicking with our roller skates and we find that some of our brethren somehow disappear now and then and they never return”.
The God walked further and met the cat too. “How are you? Are you comfortable? You seem to have put on weight?”
The cat said, “I am perfectly fine God! You are so generous and considerate towards me; Thank you for regularly sending some rats that come around me in roller skates; whenever I feel hungry, I just catch one of them and eat. I don’t even need to move out for my food; Thanks a lot!”
[Amma: “All the people are always on the look out for external happiness, but this so-called “happiness” bring only misery and even carry us to the mouth of death. With our actions today, we are running to catch Death even before Death comes to catch us. Such is our rat race these days“.]
(From Amma’s Vishu Satsang 2022)
10. Why hurry?
Once the passenger, having some urgent business, went to a ferry station. he noticed your ferry carrying passengers was moving close to the dock. She rushed towards it, and made jump into it but unfortunately he fell into the water. the boat man somehow rescued the man and pulled him into the boat. why were you in such hurry to get into this boat?”
the passenger replied, ” I have a very urgent business and I didn’t have the time to wait for the next boat”.
Oh! is that so? Actually this boat is just coming into the dock; not leaving from it! “
[Amma: “Like the passenger in this story most of us are in a hurry to catch up to death even before death actually is coming looking for us!”]
(From Amma’s Vishu Satsang 2022)
The householder replied to him patiently: “When I was giving you, I was a bachelor and at that time I could afford to give you so much. Later I got married and my wife was not employed. That’s why I reduced the amount to fifty rupees. Later I had a child and naturally my family expenses increased considerably. At that point of time, I reduced the amount to twenty five rupees. Now I have got a second child too. Now, in reality, I have no money to spend. However, since I felt I should not send you back empty-handed, I somehow managed to give you ten Rupees”.
The boy said, “I could not concentrate and do my homework because of lots of noise in my house, Sir?”
When he met the doctor with the scan report, the doctors’ face turned grim. “I am sorry to say this, but you have to face the reality. You have a large tumor in your brain and in all likelihood, it is cancerous too. You have to undergo a major brain surgery without delay. Else your life is under threat”.
Once a couple went to pray in the temple on their Marriage Day.
He decided to consult a psychiatrist.
He complained: “Sir, I am staying in a small room in my home; that room is stinking. This room is occupied by the pet dogs of my elder brother; another brother has a few cats in it. My sister has a couple of rabbits in the room which are her pets. My mother has a couple of goats. The room is horrible and dirty. I cannot breath any fresh air. If only you could do something I will be thankful to you. I am longing for a breath of fresh air!”
Once in a community, people wanted to celebrate Onam with several entertainment programs. A drama on Krishna Lila was planned. A man was extremely interested in acting and he gave his name to the troup. He was very excited about it and was discussing with his wife as to what role he should take up in the drama.
Once two friends were talking. One of them said, “I heard you have started drinking nowadays. What is the reason?”
The donkey said, “You are indeed right about my unbearable suffering. I have just one last hope here and that’s why I continue to stay here”.
The visitors were wonderstruck to look around the city. The secretary took them to theatre show. It was a grand show in which all the great film stars, musicians and other performing artists participated. The program was scheduled to be conducted at the 24th floor of a multistoried building.
The visitors saw some arrow symbols blinking on the wall. One upward arrow got lit. After some time, they noticed that the downward arrow started blinking. After a while, they were surprised to see the wall splitting open again. This time, a very young and attractive girl in her twenties came out from the chamber in the wall and went out.
Once the whistle was blown, the girl started running. All the participants started chasing her. After running behind her in vain for several minutes, the participants got exhausted. The coordinator came and announced : “We will repeat this process thrice a day. This is our program package and the weight loss regimen that you will follow for the next 30 days”. 
Once a husband and wife were sleeping in their open courtyard on a cot. Suddenly a tornado hit the locality. It sucked the couple along with the cot and threw them at some hundred kilometers away. Very surprisingly, they landed safely without any injuries. 
The man was indeed longing to have a cup of tea and he said gladly, “Yes, a cup of tea please!”
When the children gathered there, they were too happy to see their most favourite food — Pizza kept ready on the table. They jumped in joy.
Once a man felt very sick. He went to consult his family doctor. The doctor arranged to get several tests done on him. After studying the reports, the doctor said, “Your ailment is such that it is not possible to cure it totally through medication and treatment. Actually, this is a hereditary disease that has come to you from your parents. What to do?”
This website has been conceived and being developed by C.V.Rajan. He is a retired Engineer and an ex-design consultant, now living with his wife in Ashram at Amritapuri, Kerala, spending his retired life in quest of spirituality under the holy feet of Amma, Satguru Mata Amritanandamayi.